


The Colour Theory

by Yangs Sunglasses (Nilenium)



Category: Ginga Eiyuu Densetsu | Legend of the Galactic Heroes
Genre: After season 1, Gen, Humour, Implied Relationships, Iserlohn, Not Beta Read, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 13:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8103586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nilenium/pseuds/Yangs%20Sunglasses
Summary: Julian gets dragged into another silly argument between Poplin and Attenborough. The poor kid.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I used the military ranks from episode 27 of the OVA. This fic wasn't beta-read and I'm not a native speaker, so please forgive any mistakes I made. Or better, tell me to correct them ;)

“Hey, Julian! Got a minute?” 

The 16-year-old boy looked to his right. He recognized the person calling him. It was his flight instructor, Commander Olivier Poplin, who was waving him over with a cheeky smile that promised that he planned to drag Julian into something embarrassing again. Rear Admiral Attenborough and Lieutenant General Schönkopf were with him too, which wasn't a good sign. These three always argued about the most trivial of things. 

Julian suppressed a sigh, shored up his defenses, preparing for literally anything, then stepped off the moving sidewalk and approached the group. 

“Is something the matter, commander?” he asked. 

“You know, Attenborough and I were just talking and we need a second opinion on something,” Poplin explained. “But you gotta agree with me.” He winked slyly. 

“Don't get so far ahead, Julian is a smart kid, he won't fall for your rhetoric!” Attenborough said. 

“What about Lieutenant General Schönkopf? You could just ask him...” Julian trailed off, feeling perplexed why would they need him when they already had a third person to consult. 

Schönkopf just shook his head and shrugged. Apparently, he chose to exercise his greatest freedom according to Admiral Yang, that is the freedom not to get involved. 

“Alright, so what's the question?” Julian wanted to get this over with quickly as he needed to head back home and start the dinner. 

“I was telling my very ignorant, still single friend Attenborough that it's a proven fact that a person's character is expressed by the colours they wear the most.” 

“Proven? By whom? You?” Attenborough scoffed. 

“Yes, I can prove it through empirical observation,” Poplin replied calmly. He sure seemed confident of his claim. 

Julian couldn't really say if commander's words were true, so he risked to voice a reasonable objection. “But almost everyone around here wears military uniform, so you can't really prove this.” 

“Oh, how little faith you have in me, Julian! Of course I thought of it before. The explanation is simple—the people wear their rank on the outside, but under it, that's where you can find their true colours!” 

“Then, you mean...” Julian didn't finish, as he guessed what Poplin had exactly in mind. 

“I see you're getting it! He's much smarter than you,” that remark was directed towards Attenborough, who just rolled his eyes, “and yes, I'm saying that the only way a person can express their true self around here is by choosing the colour of the underwear they're wearing.” 

“Don't listen to him, Julian, he's just making things up. You think people have so much choice to begin with?” Attenborough asked his adversary. “The shops around here just sell whites and blacks.” 

Poplin laughed. “Well, and that's where your lack of statistical data is showing. I have seen numerous ladies on Iserlohn without their outer clothes, therefore I can guarantee their underwear selection has a very wide range of colours and patterns.” 

“Agh, just because I am not determined to look under the skirt of every woman on the base...!” Attenborough made a sound of frustration. “How about the other expert here confirm what you're saying, because I don't want to believe you!” 

Schönkopf smirked. “I am only interested in seeing women wear their natural colours.” 

Again, he was of no help. 

Sensing that they stopped paying attention to him, Julian took the opportunity to slowly back out into the main corridor and towards freedom. 

“What does the colour of the underwear even matter to a woman's personality?” Attenborough resumed arguing. 

“Red means she's passionate and bold, for a start,” Poplin shot back, launching into a full explanation of which colours correlated with which character traits. 

“Hold on, let me rephrase,” Attenborough cut him off, “how is this even useful? Shouldn't you get to know the woman first before you get to see her panties? But then, if you already know her, there's just no point to knowing which colour means what.” He wore a triumphant smile, convinced of his victory of logic over Poplin. 

“If it's all so easy and useless, then you should be able to tell what colour of the underwear wears someone you know well, like... hmm... who do you even know, Attenborough? Any lady friends of yours I missed lately?” 

As always, Poplin found a way to turn the tables on his opponent and leave him gaping like a fish on a dry land. 

“Goddamnit, this again! Of course I know many women!” 

“Names or you're lying.” 

Attenborough thought quickly. “For example, Lieutenant Greenhill!” 

“You think you know her well? Then, what is the colour of her underwear?” 

“How the hell should I know?” 

“Take a guess!” 

“What for?” 

Julian was almost at the corner, when unexpectedly Poplin called him back. “Julian, why did you go there? I need you here, now!” 

With a defeated sigh, Julian returned. And he was so close to a silent escape! 

“Julian, you've been to Lieutenant Greenhill's place, right?” Poplin asked. 

“Yes, on some errands for the admiral,” the boy admitted. 

“Did you see her laundry?” 

“No! I was only in the living room!” Julian denied, getting flustered at the idea of snooping around in her personal things. He would never do something like that to Miss Frederica! 

“But you know her so well you could take a guess of her colour. Let's compare results with Attenborough.” Poplin was merciless. 

Julian looked around for help out of this situation. He didn't want to consider this question seriously... at least not in the company of other people. 

“Leave the kid alone already, would you?” Attenborough said. “It's obviously white or black, the only kind of underwear she can buy on Iserlohn, like everyone else.” 

“Well, do you agree Julian? Does the plain white or black suit Lieutenant Greenhill's personality according to you?” 

“I... uh... have to think...” Julian coughed, stalling while he tried to avoid giving an answer. 

“Come on! This should be easy: what is the colour of lieutenant's underwear?” Poplin encouraged. 

“It's blue.” 

They whirled around to see Admiral Yang standing right behind them. They were so absorbed in the ridiculous debate, they didn't even hear him coming, except for Schönkopf who didn't look surprised at all at his sudden appearance. 

However, the main reason of the general stupefaction was that Yang was the one who gave the answer to Poplin's inquiry. 

“If your curiosity is now satisfied, I am taking Julian home. Come, Julian,” Yang said and walked to the main corridor with moving sidewalk. Julian snapped a quick salute as a goodbye and ran to catch up with his legal guardian. 

“You really saved me there, Admiral. Thank you,” Julian said. 

“Did I? You could have handled that in several different ways. I was just tired of waiting, so I cut in.” Yang minimized the effect of his actions, as he was wont to do. 

“I didn't like any of these ways.” 

Yang nodded in understanding and pushed a button to the elevator. 

Julian, however, felt that something was off and it was bugging him. When they entered the lift, he finally spoke up. 

“How did you know it's blue?” Julian asked. 

“Blue? Oh... that.” Yang took off his beret and scratched his head. “Just a hunch...” 

Julian would've been willing to believe him, if not for Yang refusing to meet his eyes. Just what was the admiral getting up to when he wasn't around? 

Julian wasn't so sure if he wanted to find out. 

. 

After Yang and Julian were out of earshot, Poplin blinked and looked at his two friends. “How do you think he knew that?” 

Attenborough shrugged. “I don't know! He probably said the first thing that popped into his head!” 

Poplin nodded seriously with his arms crossed to appear wiser. “That's right. There's no way our admiral would have any sort of insight on Lieutenant Greenhill's underwear.” 

“Yeah, pigs would fly before that happened.” 

Schönkopf just kept smirking without saying a single word. He looked out of the nearby window, checking the sky. 

_I wonder..._

**Author's Note:**

> I will appreciate any comments on the fic, characterization, style, grammar and everything else :)


End file.
